What my little heart says..

Assalamualaikum :)

Its 2013 already haaa! And oh, January is ending, one more day we're approaching the second month already! Time really flies ain't it? Ermmm, lets see what do i wanna pokpekpokpek here?

Just feeling sappy again. That makes me write, coz i just don't know who i should let my hearts out to on this kinda situation. By writing, even to this plain blog i know somehow it will help to weep this anger and sadness. Literally.

I'm aware that I'm a big complaint sometimes ( errr, maybe most of the time ) but really i guess I'm just hoping for the best especially in something i've spent most of my years in. I wonder sometimes, am i asking too much? Is it so hard to fulfill my wish? Ain't asking for platinums nor gold nor big cars nor anything expensive but JUST simple things like understanding and communication. I guess the ladies just go way too far with their man expecting things which i guess it not that unexpected? Yes, no? I'm too tired of pin pointing, I'm not getting any younger with that game. I just want something i can rely on to, someone who will be my backbone and take all the responsibilities of what he/she should have. Im thinking too further ahead, but thats not wrong isn't it? Didn't our parents always tell us to think of our future? Or is it just me who's over dwelling on this? I envy those partners who are happy not just one day, one week or one month but even them having those fights then reconcile and MOST importantly making things up and never having to come to that situation again. I've not had this feeling for some time but this time it hurts so bad.

I'm sorry for all my khilaf, i know i ain't perfect either but what I'm asking for is that we help ourselves to bring the best out of each other. I dunno how many times i should be saying this, but someday i hope you are gonna hear me out, deep inside my heart. This swollen eyes are not worth the tears running down if all i can do is going through this again and again.

I kept giving chances by chances but still not seeing the results. I really dunno what else i should do, i think i've given my best. Maybe my best is just not good enough :'(


Yours truly,
The sad soul